Top: Charlotte Russe // White Jeans: Charlotte Russe // Jean Jacket: Old Navy // Shoes: Charlotte Russe // Bag: Steve Madden
A few weeks ago I visited Miami during my trip down south, and it was absolutely incredible in my eyes. I've heard about the infamous city all my life (what with being a born & raised Floridian) but have never actually made it down there until now to see it for myself.
With the short time-frame, we only had enough time to have coffee and sorbet at Laduree (with macarons to-go of course) and a walk through Wynwood Walls.
I'm already planning another trip to see and do more, but these were the major points that I couldn't go to Miami without seeing.
The sidewalk art was one of my favorite things, with words like "and through all of the chaos, I chose to live by love," "in the end love will be what saves us all," and of course the famous "protect yo heart."
I know that last one is so simple and all, but man is it true. So often these days it's necessary to put a veil of protection around yourself. Something that I've gotten quite a bit from people is: how do you not have a boyfriend/you must have to beat guys off with a stick!
I just laugh because (a) I don't know the answer & (b) not true.
Before I go on, I'm going to just put out a disclosure that I'm not calling out/talking about anyone personally. Just speaking on everyone as a whole. Ok. Now with that out of the way...
People in my generation have a very difficult time with commitment.
I think we're all honestly just terrified that someone is going to come along and make us fall head over heals only for them to screw us over.
It's a tragic fear really, but most of it is based on experience with this happening and also seeing other relationships all around us fall to pieces.
I don't very much enjoy posting about personal things, especially my almost-nonexistent love life, but I feel it tugging on my heart.
So here I go - please just bear with me.
I have a difficult time opening up to people. I think a lot of it is because once I do, people tend to leave. And as much as I know it's other life circumstances completely out of my control that cause them to go, I can't help but feel that a part of it was me. Like, maybe I got to be too much. Maybe they saw that well of insecurity and difficulty in me and figured it was better just not to try anymore.
I'm not sure, but it scares me.
Because when someone comes along, I don't want to fall. I tell myself it's not going to happen this time.
But I feel too much. And I care about people more than I should.
And I'm at a point now where I'm just not sure what to do.
Whether to try harder or just give it up and save the heartache in the long run.
People close to me know that I don't let go easily. I will try and try again to keep people in my life.
But what I'm trying to sort out right now is something that I'm just begging God for answers with.
Because people are tricky. And it's so hard to tell sometimes.
I feel distance and I think it's coming to the end.
So I go back & forth between trying more and distancing myself as well.
I'm not the greatest with love advice. So if you came looking for that, I'm not sure what to tell you.
All I know is that we're called to love one another.
So sometimes we just have to stick it out.
And other times we can only love from a distance.
I wish I knew the answers.
I wish I could look at someone and tell how they really felt.
And I wish that people didn't leave without so much as a warning.
I wish people could be concrete and honest about what they want.
And that it wasn't such a game to most.
All I know is that people are people. And we let each other down quite often. No stopping it.
But love comes from something bigger than just us.
We are perfectly loved by our creator and savior, the one who will never let us down.
So when you're like me and feeling all out of sorts, I think the best thing to do is just turn to God and allow his love to fill you up until you no longer feel the need to be determined and measured by the imperfect love of human beings.
If you came here looking for something, I hope this helped.
And if not, I hope you enjoyed the photos and me sorting through my own life stuff.
wishing you all the best
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