sailboat photos by brianna maye
I was walking in the kitchen when God spoke to me in a soft and clear voice, “I want you to fast from social media.”
And then began my “but God…”
And He said, “don’t you trust me when I’ve called you to do something?”
As I thought about it more, the negotiations started up. “I can still post, right? Just not scroll?” I asked God. He smiled down at me knowingly, saying, “no, you know that if you go to post then you will be tempted to scroll and break the fast.”
So I asked, “Well how long, God? Will it be forever?” He said in just as clear of a voice, “until the work I’ve started in you is complete.”
I had to take a step away from the distractions, pause what I was doing, and fast. Fasting is meant to actively seek Him while putting aside the things that stand in the way of that. And during this fast, He has revealed how the pieces connect for all of the things He knows I’m passionate about.
Only by Jesus has He made it all into a beautiful picture of puzzle pieces I’ve been unable to put together on my own. This came only from His doing, in such a timing that it can’t point to me but solely back to Him. Thank You Jesus.
I thought this was a time to be more productive, but really it was to be more still. I thought of ways to rush it, that maybe if I worked faster it would be over and I’d get to what I wanted. But God had more in it than I even knew. He wanted to bless me with answers to things I’d been asking but needed some patience for the understanding.
Sometimes we just need to slow down.
God’s not in a race with us.He’s on a nice walk as we keep running ahead. But if we slow our pace, things become clearer instead of blurry from the speed. We acknowledge His presence more. It all begins to come together in ways we couldn’t do on our own.
God has been moving through this time, providing so much clarity and closeness to Him. It wasn’t all of these end results that I thought He wanted. He just needed my focus.
There are pieces that I’ve been trying to figure out, trying to make work, but not being able to see the bigger picture. Through this time, He has made them make sense in ways I didn’t even know connected.
I thought I had to finish all of these things for this time to be worth it, but He just wanted to develop me into who He’s calling me to be for what He has ahead.
I feel complete, in ways I hadn’t before. It’s not anything I could’ve done on my own. And I see now that’s why I had to get away from the distractions that were keeping me from Him.
So that when I was sad or overwhelmed or any number of things, I wouldn’t simply turn to social media to fill that void. That had to be temporarily taken away so I could see His grace in turning to Him. Instead of reaching for the phone, He wanted me to turn my eyes up, saying “God, here I am” and having conversation with Him.
It’s amazing what He reveals, the clarity and peace that He brings, when we take the time to be with Him, to get to know Him, His love and mercy. The work wasn’t all of these things. The work was me.
That doesn’t mean there aren’t still things He’s been developing through me. It means that the intention isn’t just to have a final tangible, ‘look what I did’ product in my hands, because we’re always in development. We’re always working toward something. This time I choose to live and work with more intention.
If all we live for is to say we made it, what do we even do next? What’s the purpose, if it’s just the means to an end?
Life is about more than finished products. It’s in the development that we find ourselves as who God made us to be. It’s in the waiting and the working and the fasting that we seek closeness to Him and get to know who He is.
God has had more in this than I even imagined. How we limit His abilities and His plans with our finite understanding. I know He has big things ahead, but living for those things doesn’t define me. It’s living in the now, making each moment count, for Him, with Him, that makes this life we have worth everything.
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