But I am glad to have the opportunities to travel and see and do new things. It surely makes me enjoy even more any downtime that I have to relax.
A couple of weekends ago I drove up to Birmingham, Alabama with my mother and grandmother on a family visit (it was really for a funeral, but that and weddings is about the only time we all get together so it’s a visit to me). We stayed at the most beautiful lake house with a perfect view. Almost too good to leave.
But the time always comes when I have to hit the road once more, because there’s always something new to do. 

Before this month of traveling, I had been looking for answers, trying to figure out what I would do with this summer. I opted out of summer classes for various reasons, so the next couple of months completely empty in schedule terrified me. Everything I tried to put into place kept falling through. So I felt stuck. And I asked God, “why are you keeping me here?” Almost questioning why I wasn’t being allowed to do anything more with my life.
I’ve had to learn to let go of my grip on life and hand it over to God’s care. Don’t get me wrong, it’s no picnic. I get frustrated, fall into anxiety because I feel that I have no control over my life anymore.
It’s tough to not be able to plan my every move.
And trust has been the hardest thing to maintain. Trust that those things I wanted were not what was best for me at the time. Trust that God does have bigger and better plans for me. Trust that even if it wasn’t what I planned, it will still turn out okay.
But I know that the values I have gained from this month are working to shape me into the person that I am to become. So even though I didn’t get to study abroad or go on that trip to Paris or get a film internship in California, I am still doing something and I am still going somewhere.
It may not be what I intended, but one day the time for those things will come.
As for now, I’m where I need to be. And all I can do is wait until God moves me.