On the flight back from the whirlwind of a two day trip to LA, this quote jumped out at me as I half-slept through a documentary about Ralph Lauren.




At 24, I thought I would have life a little more figured out, be more established with my feet on the ground, know where I want to settle down or what the next 5 years of my life might look like. But I'm starting to see the light in not knowing. Because after a spur of the moment, last minute opportunity that came my way, I can see that not knowing what might come next is actually okay and even more exciting than a perfectly planned out life.


I didn't know there was anything missing in my life until I took a risk and realized how much there really is. 


Sometimes it takes going after a dream to see how much more you want. While I have people around me and a steady place to live here, after going on this trip I've noticed this void. A lack of adventure that has led me to a life of complacency. Like I'm standing still while the world moves around me. And I have to break free from this glue stuck on my feet, because I'm afraid that if I don't soon I may never will. I don't want to end up like everybody else who stayed and never got out.

As I drove the long empty stretch from the airport back home, my mind drifted within the lines of the road. At some points the lights passed behind me, leaving a limited view of what was ahead. All I could see were the dots on either side a few feet in front while the rest of the road faded into the dark. In the past this would scare me as I'd press the brakes a little more and try to see what's ahead.

But this night, I stayed focused on what I can see and trusted in what I can't. There's only so much of life that we can see at one time. It used to make me anxious, and I would stop everything just to try to see what was ahead of me. I wasted so much time scrolling through pages and pages of everyday jobs, thinking if I could just find something it would make life a little more worthwhile, not realizing that life was already happening. That God had a plan far better than mine and the world was still spinning, days passing behind me.

Turned out the kind of job I wanted didn't exist yet - I had to create it. And it's not something I can apply for, go in and interview and come out with a yes you're hired or we regret to inform you.. It's not a steady easy paycheck that deposits into my bank account every week. It's a day in day out, long hours working on something that may or may not feel like it's getting me anywhere but I know with it I'm going somewhere. It's something most people don't understand, because it pushes against the grain of what we all think is normal, a steady job that's comfortable. It's on the opposing side of everything we all know. And yet it's all I seem to want and know how to do well.



This started as a post to recap the past two days and ended in a recap of what my heart has been feeling. As the quote said, sometimes you have to fulfill your dreams to know what your real dream is about. And I think that after going for an opportunity that wasn't completely clear or really even the best idea, I know it was the best thing for me because now I can see what it is that I want and continue on even if I can't see the lines up ahead. All I can do is stay focused on what I can see and trust in what I can't.



The past two days were absolutely amazing and long in the best way. Arriving in LA, there was a feeling of lightness. It felt different from my everyday life in Florida. I literally hopped off the plane at LAX (yes, I had to include that) and made my way to the hotel to prep for the photo shoot. When I got to the shoot, everyone was so incredibly kind and easy to work with. I kept thinking how is this even real? To shoot with a professional photographer for an actual brand campaign to be posted on their website and social media... it's the dream job for a blogger/content creator. And they chose me to be part of it. I don't know why, but I am so thankful they did.

After the work part was the fun part, and with the work part already being fun it made for the best trip. The friend that I brought with me as a manager to stay safe went around the city and explored with me. We met up with another friend that I hadn't seen in years and spent the evening catching up. There couldn't have been a better way to end the day, as we sat on a rooftop bar overlooking the city and talked about everything then drove around to see all the things.

I appreciate people who actually see me, ones who get how I am. When asked what someone liked about me before, I've had the answer "you're pretty." And I remember thinking, do they even really see me?

It's not every day that people are able to look past the outside and really connect on real things. The change of pace, spending even just a short time with someone who gets me, made such a difference.


The next day we got up early to see more of the views and made our way back home too soon. I really didn't expect to like LA as much as I did. Always thought it was too far, too many people, too large, but it turned out to be the opposite of what I had thought. It was nothing short of amazing. ♡


"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24

"For we live by faith, not by sight."
2 Corinthians 5:7