This month marks two years of A Happy Blur. I've been doing a lot of reminiscing lately. Going through photos over the past couple of years, thinking about the collaborations and the incredible/supportive/talented people that I have met through this. I came across this shoot that I hadn't posted yet on here, but it's one of my favorites. (A) I had the opportunity to work with one of the most talented photographers I know, Chelsea Images, who has so much in store for her career and life. (B) It's a simple shoot. No flashy clothes or jewelry, no props, just me sitting on a chair in front of a backdrop looking into a camera.

I'm a simple person really, but so terribly complicated in the same moment.

I love photo shoots - they're probably my favorite thing to do - but can't study the images directly after or else I'll pick out too many things I don't necessarily like about myself. Give me some time and then they will be my favorite photographs. Writing is another one of my passions, but explain to me why I get this apprehension and put off every time I have to write something? I need my quiet time - major introvert status here - but have to have a balance of being around people as to not go completely lonely. Dressing up is my favorite - maybe more than photo shoots actually - but I sure do love staying in with my hair and makeup undone, lounging in sweats while finishing up work on the computer.

But I think most everyone can be a simple complication as well sometimes.

I've never really shared what brought me to making this blog in the first place. Well, you see, I had no idea where my life was going. The gap year after high school was coming to its end and I still was unsure of what to do. I thought maybe film or photography could be the right direction. My mom always insisted that I'm a writer, that I needed to pursue something that had to do with that. I started following these amazing - not to mention stylish - bloggers on Instagram and eventually thought hey, I could try to do something like that as an outlet for my writing. Trust me, my style has come a looong way since the beginning of this blog. I was nowhere near the fashionista that I am now. This blog had a way of changing that for me.

So now here I am, two years later, working on a personal styling certification that will lead to a business in the near future, stronger than I think I have ever been in my walk with the Lord, motivated to actually do work that I love, surrounded by so many good people, and enjoying every moment of it.


But that's not to say that I have it all figured out or that every moment is a happy blur. No, it's quite the opposite. (btw - apologies if this sounds odd. I just watched a movie about a girl with a British accent so now I'm thinking in an accent and that's affecting my writing.) I spend the majority of my time not feeling like myself, sad, crying over anything and everything in the same moment, frustrated that I'm going nowhere but seeing how God is moving in my life even during the waiting times.

While I wish that every day could be remembered as a happy blur, I understand that it's not all going to be like that. And that's okay. Because even if it doesn't all feel okay or I'm lost in my own head sometimes, I will always strive to keep myself open and real, to write about whatever it is that's going through my mind, the heavy topics or the light. There's too many walls that we have all built up, too many fake acts that people put on. And I don't ever want that for myself. If it seems that I'm being quiet or distant, it's honestly just that. Not much of what I do is in correlation to a reaction to others. With that said, if it's perceived that I'm unapproachable or may not like you, come see for yourself. I think you'll find something a lot different than what you were expecting.

So even if I may seem odd, annoying, too personal, or what have you, this is me. The good, the fun, the troubles, the laughter, the tears. It's all just me.

This is, unapologetically, me.

Thanks for letting me share my heart week after week. 

p.s. - I'd like to get to know you too. ♡