"I wish I looked like that."

As soon as I saw these photos, I just thought they belonged in an issue of Vogue. The quality is just that good! (All thanks to Chelsea Images - one of the best up and coming photographers in Florida!) I initially intended to hold out on posting these for a later article, but this idea of something to write began to weigh on my mind and these go perfectly along with it. 

How many times have you scrolled through someone's Instagram/Facebook, watched an influencer's Snapchat, seen a YouTube video, or flipped through a magazine and thought "I wish I looked like that"? 

If I'm being completely honest here, I've done this more times than I can count. It's so easy to sit there and wallow in self pity because someone is so pretty or successful or fashionable or what have you and you're not anywhere near like that. We watch YouTube tutorials and strive to recreate the looks because we want to achieve that same kind of beauty. We scroll through Instagram almost to the point of tears because everyone else seems to have it so much better and have something you don't. 

Because I've been there so many times, I just can't shake how raw I need to be about this with you all. I have put a lot of effort into my appearance. You can see it yourself in my clothing, makeup, and hair. I always want to look my best, because that is when I feel my best. But I think somewhere along the way it started to become an idol in my life. I watched YouTube makeup videos, working tirelessly to make my face look as perfect as in those videos. I followed bloggers and fashion icons, memorizing their styles and trends and going out and buying those kinds of clothing pieces so that I could be stylish too. I curl my hair almost all the time because I don't prefer its natural straight texture and wear individual false eyelash extensions that without I just feel plain ugly. What I'm basically saying here is I'm a fraud. Sometimes it's difficult to find the line between what is real and what's not anymore. Yes I do love fashion and I do love makeup and that in itself is fine. But what makes it not fine is that I ended up altering myself so much and conforming to standards that have been placed by not only social media but by myself just so I could "look like that." 

But the thing is, when we place appearance this high as a priority,  we tend to forget what we're really about. We care more about how we look versus how we act. We think "what lipstick should I wear today" before asking "what can I do to make someone else's day or to be a kind human being today or to share God's glory today." We think what would this person do instead of what would Jesus do. 

I know this because I've been there - because I am there. I have let it gone too long, too far, to the point of making excuses for it. What can I do to fix it? 

All I can think is to first give it up to God. Release the idol that has taken my life captive and make God the center priority. Surround myself with people who know and understand me on the inside - or at least try to. People who love me for who I actually am and push me to be myself when these kind of things take over. People that say "I love your heart" before "I love your outfit." I also need to be one of those people. I too have found myself commenting the second compliment far more than the first. 

It's important to remind ourselves and each other of who we are and whose we are. We were created to look at our hearts. And to live from our hearts. But now we live in an unauthentic world, because one too many of us have thought "I wish I looked like that." 

But I'm here to tell you that you don't have to look like that. That you are beautiful, and it is your inside beauty that radiates and shines onto the outside. 

So if you enjoy makeup and clothes and looking nice, that's okay. Just don't let it go so far like I did. Remember that your confidence comes from Who is within. And it's a stronger confidence that will never fail you. Just know that you are beautiful, because God made you beautiful. 

"The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:17