These past couple weeks - especially this last week - have been incredibly busy for me, hence my disappearance from the blog. From birthday celebrations to fashion week, event after event kept me on my feet.

- side note - I didn't have my camera with me, so the only photos I snapped were those above from my phone and the stories that I posted on Snapchat.

This last weekend, I volunteered as a backstage helper at the runway shows for Tampa Bay Fashion Week '16. This experience is something that anyone who wants to work (or has some sort of interest) in fashion should do. Half of the time was spent waiting, trying to find something to do, but once the show started things grew hectic pretty quick. From helping the models quick-change during the set to running after a model because I wasn't finished tying a dress or getting their shoes on, the actual show was the most interestingly fun part of it all.

I enjoyed the activeness of it all when things picked up. It was the waiting that was the hard part. From the first night, right off the bat I dealt with feelings of inadequacy, of seeming helpless, because I honestly had no idea what I was doing. This completely new experience had me sort of bewildered towards the beginning. The models were in hair & makeup, the designers already had their clothing ready to go, and I couldn't find any way to be of help. Some people are superior at jumping right in and making sure they were doing something.
But I just had to take a step back and take it all in.
And I think sometimes that's what we need to do. Especially in times of waiting. So often, we find ourselves caught up in the fast pace of life and don't know how to take it when we come to a dead-end. It's either right or left or turn around. And if we don't take the time to really become present in this very moment, we can miss the point of it all together.
That's when we come to the question - "was what I did really beneficial or just something to take up the time?"

It's easy to get wrapped up in the present moment and trying to come across as someone different - someone more capable, more outgoing, someone better-than. It's even easier to dwell on what others may think of us.
What if they thought I was a bad helper because of the time I spent waiting for an opportunity to do something? What if I was too quiet? Too small? Not enough help? What if they tell me not to come in tomorrow because I wasn't any good?
These can become devastatingly haunting thoughts if we don't actually get to the bottom of them.
People say things like "you're so quiet" or "you look really young" and oftentimes we're quick to feel offended by these comments. And that is what leads to the self-doubting questions.
I don't want to be remembered only as the quiet girl, because I know I am more than that.
When these words are delivered to us, we tend to feel insecure, as though these are the only qualities that people pick up on. 
But what if we take the comments as what they really are - observations.
People tend to say whatever is on their mind without putting too much thought into it.
And that's something that we on the receiving end need to grasp.
It's a difficult task, but sometimes we just need to take the comments as they come and not think too much into it. 

So what if others can only catch surface-level details about me? It shouldn't take up too much concern.
I am who God made me to be. And I am here to help in any way I can.
At the end of the day, we are all here for the same reason: to help put on a good show.
Once the show was over, we had become a team and we all appreciated one another for doing the best we could to make these past two days a success, even in the in-between moments.
Because when things pull through, all we can remember is that we did well and it really was a great event and the impact that we made.

The advice that comes to mind is to stick to being you and becoming an even better you. Focus on helping as much as you can and don't become consumed with what others think. Because chances are, you've only crossed their mind once or twice.
The rest of their thoughts consist of what they are doing right/wrong!
And why should it really matter so much what they think, if we have on our side the One who makes all things good and upholds our own well-being? He is working behind the scenes as well to maintain the purpose of each of our lives.

Remember -
Life is a team effort. We just do the best we can to make the show come together, so that when the curtain closes, we can applaud each other for a job well done.